


36 degrees.

by addviolence



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog (Video Games), Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mephadow - Freeform, Mephiles POV, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-20 11:38:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14893916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addviolence/pseuds/addviolence
Summary: “It would be impossible to estimate how much time and energy we invest in trying to fix, change and deny our emotions - especially the ones that shake us at our very core, like hurt, jealousy, loneliness, shame, rage and grief.”





	36 degrees.

At first he only started as an obsession in it's simplest form - a body I lusted to have, quivering and writhing beneath my own, his shouts of pleasure being the only source of defiance against my commands and verbal desires. He was undoubtedly the most perfect individual my eyes ever fell upon, and when I slumbered even then he was all I could picture. 

I wanted him to be mine. Wanted everything about him to be mine, and make him into nothing more. To be more straightforward, I wanted to break him. But if you knew Shadow, you also knew that he could not easily be broken or tamed. He could not be shaped or molded by anyone's hands but his own - and this was only because he'd been used and abused so many other times. Now, he would never let his guard down enough to give someone else the chance to use their freedom to take his own away. He was immune.

And so, I would put the time and effort into making him trust me. To make him truly want my presence. This could take centuries, however; he already couldn't stand the sight of me, or even the mention of my name. I would remain willing to put my all into possessing every ounce of his delicate being, though. It didn't matter what it took.  
I would have him. I would have him, and I would have him again.  
In any way and as many times as I pleased.  
I cared not if he withered over my use, I wouldn't mind caressing his wilted form in my own two hands if it were those exact two hands that caused his lack of nourishment. His lack of life.

 

But even with this mindset, it seemed that once I had actually gained his trust over several years that I.. I simply didn't want the same things any longer. I wanted something - but not this. I yearned for him, craved him in a way unique to any other manner of longing - and yet, I wanted more still… I wanted pure intimacy.

I'd met with Shadow only when he was alone all of these years, and admittedly I had to resort to following him - stalking him, some would say - to know when he would be alone. If I hadn't, I don't believe I could've ever convinced him to give me a chance. Too many others to persuade him into finishing me off. And then leaving me to rot...

And I couldn't blame them, for I was a monster in Shadow's own skin.

But if I were as bad as they all believed - made me to believe - then why hadn't I taken advantage of him when he was on his own..? Why didn't I corner him, take what I knew was mine? I could've easily gotten away with it. I was tempted to on many occasions, if I were to be honest. But where was the fun in that..? The rush would've ended. That, or perhaps I would've lost myself, drove my sanity further into the ground by causing a scene that involved his 'sudden disappearance.' Nobody would have ever heard from him again, if it had been my choice.

It was one night that I had been battling with the object of my affections when things finally began to shift my way after so long. Usually, it was a quick fight and then we would separate for who knows how long. And that always left me desperate to encounter him again. His touch could sustain me, but only for so long until I needed another excuse to see him.  
I watched as he stood aside while I gained my bearings, staggering to my feet as he crossed his arms over his chest - something I saw as a sign of withdrawal, or insecurity in some cases. He wanted to appear impenetrable by anything or anyone’s influence in the world, but I knew that his armor could be cracked eventually. I just.. Needed to keep trying and trying again.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" Shadow grunted bitterly, his garnet eyes glaring in my direction. I could feel his gaze pierce my core - but instead of feeling terrified for my life, I was terrified for my heart. It was rapidly beating, for its pulse was only increasing by my own nerves and anxiety.

"Because you don't want to be alone," I had found myself answering, a false tone of confidence ringing with each syllable. To him, I appeared unaffected by his mere presence - but it was the only thing making every one of my senses go haywire. 

A flicker of uncertainty graced his features, but only for a millisecond before his expression hardened once more. I saw it though. I saw a piece of him that no one else had in ages. And I was ready to shatter his outer shell little by little in order for my eyes to feast upon every piece he kept hidden from this world. His own world was different, after all.

I like to imagine and tell myself that it was seeing his face in that split moment, that it was when I truly began to reevaluate myself. When my malevolent lust turned into something much more innocent.

Shadow was something real. Shadow was someone - someone with depth. And someone I never considered to have a soul until I saw a shift in his eyes. There was emotion he focused so much energy into draining out of his unique gaze. 

I wanted to see and know more.

"Why would you assume that..? That's all I've ever wanted. I'm tired of dealing with scum like you on a daily basis," Shadow finally retorted, sticking his nose up in disgust as he so often did when addressing me.

"Then why have you never ended me?" I asked, cautiously taking baby steps towards him, and I can tell by the slightest movement I make in my advancing, he's growing nervous by my presence instead of vice-versa. For once.

Shadow didn't answer. Or rather, he couldn't find an answer no matter how hard he searched in the depths of his mind.

"Come on, Shadow," I spoke once more, my voice closing into a soft murmur as I halted my stride once I stood right before him. "You can't continue lying to me - I know you enjoy my presence," I forced myself to say with utmost confidence. But really, I was terrified of rejection. 

Studying him closely for a moment, I saw his muscles tense as soon as I began to lean myself forward. Slowly, one of my hands caressed his cheek, and I brought his nervous gaze to mine. It was only then that he could see that I was just as anxious over my own actions as he had been. 

"I truly love being in yours. I count down the moments to when I'll be able to hear your voice again," I confessed, doubt creeping into my tone. Was that all too much? Was I going too fast in expressing my heart's own language? My feelings..?

"Mephiles.." Shadow mumbled, and I felt my lips stretch into a delighted smile upon hearing my own name being spoken by him. Something came over me after that, and I had not even taken the time to analyze the hesitant tone in his voice before I glided my lips against his own, disconnecting him from his objection only to connect the two of us in the purest fashion I could think of in that moment.

Shadow hadn't appeared to know what he was dealing with - or how to even reaction properly in this situation - for I had opened my eyes to glance at him, his own orbs wide in shock, and his hands awkwardly at his sides whereas my arms were wrapped around him. A slight smile came to my lips, and I broke our kiss for only a mere second before renewing our lip lock. At the same time, I reached to grasp his hands, holding them in my own as if to reassure him.

Still, he would not settle or lean in further.

I could feel him breathe into my lungs with even just a small kiss, his sweet tasting breath making my heart flutter, even if I knew he was uncertain and maybe even frightened. I wanted more.

And yet, I could not receive this much.

When he finally made the decision to pull away, Shadow took a few steps back, his garnet eyes widened as if I'd dropped a bombshell on him.

"Mephiles, why.." He muttered incredulously, a faint blush on his muzzle that I had barely noticed at first. My, he was adorable..

"Have I not made myself clear to you yet..?" Came my response, and of course I was second-guessing everything I'd just done.  
"Shadow, I-"

I didn't get to finish my words, for his communicator had started going off like mad and begging for his attention in a less subtle demeanor than I had been. He motioned for me to wait on finishing my thoughts so he could answer, and I was feeling a tad disappointed and maybe even awkward just standing here in silence, our moment taking a pause.

"Shadow, where are you? We need you to report back to HQ immediately..!" Came a female voice from the small device, one I vaguely recognized. It had been that bat he worked with, a close companion of his I believed. I think the two lived together, which caused a lot of questions to rise in possibly not just me, but others. What was their relationship, and was I disturbing that..?

"Alright, I'll be there shortly," came Shadow's simple answer before the transmission ended. His gaze shifted over to me once more, and he pursed his lips as if he were uncertain of what to say to me. I waited, however - expectantly. I needed to hear what he had to say.

"Mephiles, that was... Inappropriate. I don't think you and I are the best grounds for you to suddenly just.. Do that," he explained, his garnet eyes shifting to look at the earth. He didn't want to look at me.

I was glad he didn't.

My expression faltered from confidence into one of disenchantment. I really messed up, hadn't I..?

 

No, biding my time was what made it all too sweet in the end. This sated my hunger finally...

_And I'm alone but in another way._

**Author's Note:**

> I’m not sure if I’m going to add to this - or have the time to? I’ve started writing more to it, but nowhere near finished. So, sorry for the awkward cliffhanger aaaa. I hope you enjoyed anyways!


End file.
